Have you ever doubted yourself so much you begin to question why things are happening in your life? Well let me tell you, I have felt that way for at least the last month and a half. I’m finally getting over this wave of doubt (thanks to my friends). I’ve had so many of my close friends check me for being absolutely ridiculous. As a new creative I doubted myself so much to the point I began to psych myself out.
I questioned why God gave me this talent.I questioned why people wanted to work with me. I questioned why people were checking for me. I just didn’t know what to do with the spotlight on me. I didn’t know how to feel about this new love in my life. I have invested so much into my blog and my business I had a fear that I’d fail. Whenever I put my heart and money into something I’m always cautious as to what would come of it. It can be a project, animal or relationship, I’m always cautious as to what I put my time and energy into.
I knew from the very beginning of my creative journey, I wanted to encourage and inspire my peers to do great things. This blogging journey hasn’t always been easy though. I’ve gone through so many emotions with this blog, its kind of embarrassing. I’ve gone through writers block, self doubt, self pity and even ignored my blog because I wasn’t seeing the numbers I wanted to see. When I looked at my stats, I didn’t see the numbers I’d like to see. My reaction to the numbers was pretty much: Oh girl, nobody is checking for you baby. It took for my homegirl, Chakayla, to tell me: The numbers don’t define you.
It’s been about a week since I’ve looked at my stats page and Lord knows I’m itching to look at them, but I won’t. I want to continue feeding off of the compliments my peers are giving me. I want to continue speaking my success into existence. All in all I just want to remain humble throughout this whole process as I continue to grow as a creative. I have some of the most supportive individuals in my life that I don’t have a choice but to keep going and growing.