Tag Archives: Miami

I Want it Now!

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By: Shea Harris

Here lately I’ve been really trying to calm my nerves. Every time God presents me with an idea, I’m ready to jump into it right then and there. Whenever I see a dollar amount that I’d love to have, I want it right then and there. When it comes to anything that I want in my life: it can be materialistic or non-materialistic, I want it. I’ve been trying to weed myself off of this whole instant gratification wave. As a millennial I see accomplishments that can be made in a certain amount of time. Instead of taking my time to get to those accomplishments and sitting through the process, I always want to rush it so I can reap the benefits. It doesn’t help that social media has people portraying instant results or using phrases such as get instant results!

I can only speak for myself, but I’m a bit impatient when it comes to getting what I want. Once I receive what I want, I then want something else. I barely take time out to appreciate what I have in that very moment. I’m always trying to find and search for things to make my life better. Whenever I get what I want and need in my life, I go back asking for more. I always express this fear of getting too comfortable and stagnant in my life but the truth is, I don’t know how to enjoy things. I don’t mean enjoying the fair, a concert or movie. I mean enjoying where I’m at in that moment.

When I lived in Durham, NC, I didn’t really take time to enjoy and see the full potential that the city had to offer me. I honestly was there for work and knew I wouldn’t be there forever. I didn’t actually start to enjoy the city and explore until about 3 months before I moved to Miami. Yes I went to the movies and the mall on my own, but I didn’t tour the Duke Botanical Gardens, hike Eno River State Park or get lost in the city. I pretty much went to work, went to the gym and chilled in my apartment. I didn’t take time out to get to know myself. I was so ready to leave Durham that I didn’t realize the beauty of it until it was too late.

At least once a month I was in Charlotte to see family and friends. I didn’t care about my time in Durham because I knew it was temporary. I made sure that I was making moves and decisions that would push me to progress. Instead of sitting in the moment, I rushed the process and didn’t fully understand why I was placed in Durham. I’d like to think it was to learn more about my industry and bring it to Miami, but I definitely could’ve made a larger impact on people in the Raleigh-Durham area.

Remember to take your time and sit through your transitions. Don’t rush the progress to be made. Rushing into things can often cause you to miss out on others. Take your time and know that progress is a timely thing.

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When Being a Southern Belle Goes Wrong…

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By: Shea Harris

This post is dedicated to all my Southern Belle’s. I know your pain girl. I understand where you’re coming from. You’re not the only one going through this. I want you to know that I love you and support you. Haha! Okay let me stop playing. So today I was texting my friends about a situation and I said Y’all need to teach me how to be mean! I’ve noticed that as a Southern Belle I enter a situation with one expectation and end with a different result. Most of the time its not in my favor.

Being Too Nice Leads To a Number

So I’ve noticed in different situations that when I communicate with people, I kind of give them too much attention. In my mind I think I’m just being nice, courteous and showing a bit of Southern hospitality that’s missing in their life. In their mind, they pretty  much think I’m interested. Now sometimes I’m interested, but then again sometimes I’m not. I don’t really know how to be mean to people unless they piss me off. Whenever I meet someone, I just go in thinking I should network. You never know whose company you can benefit from.

Being Too Nice Leads to Getting Ran Over

Usually when you’re nice, people take your kindness for weakness. It sucks, but apparently that’s the way life is set up. It’s been so many times when people thought they could do any little thing around me and then I had to check them. It’s either a firm cursing out or the coldest stale face. Moving to South Florida from North Carolina, people always tell me Shea you’re too nice. I stick out like a sore thumb in a room filled with South Florida natives. I’m not sure if it’s my bubbly personality, my southern hospitality or both. What it comes down to is that when people see someone nice, they usually take them as a push over.

Being Too Nice Leads to More Work

This can be pertaining to your work life or your side hustle. For me its definitely both. I’ve noticed that my genuine spirit leads to more responsibilities. It’s difficult for me to hand off projects to other people because I’m always more concerned about their well being. When no one else can be counted on, I can be. Not even trying to toot my own horn, it’s just a fact. I’m usually the one to step up when things get a bit crazy. When it comes to my side hustle, I’m the only one that runs this. I don’t feel comfortable with building a team and I can’t pay them the amount of money they deserve. I wouldn’t mind getting interns, but I hate asking people for help. Sounds dumb, but it’s something I’ve struggled with since I was a child. 

Are you a Southern Belle or someone from the true South? Any of these sound familiar? Let me know in the comments below! Until next time! 😘

I Just Don’t Attend Church

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By: Shea Harris

The last time I went to church was…heavens I don’t even know when. I think it was sometime in August of 2016. For someone who believes in God and puts all my trust in him, you’d think I’d be doing a better job at attending the Lord’s house. Well surprise! I’m not. In September of 2015, one of my main focuses was finding a home church. Since then, my focus has shifted. I’ve spent more time acknowledging the blessings God has bestowed upon me. I’ve spent more time sharing my testimony of how good God is. I’ve spent more time sleeping in on Sundays.

I find myself wondering why am I able to hit up brunch on Sundays but not church on Sundays? To be completely transparent, I don’t want to. I rather invest my time and energy into building a spiritual connection with God instead of finding a church to help me on this journey. I’ve become completely lazy with finding a church in Miami because of my bad experiences. I rather let those experiences haunt me and poison my thoughts on church than find another place to attend to change my mentality.

I had become so comfortable with my church in North Carolina that I didn’t want any other one to compete with it. I was okay with just visiting my home church (every blue moon) whenever I was in town. I shrugged off the guilt I was feeling whenever someone asked me if I found a church home. I stopped looking and stopped attending. Every time I said I was going to the House of the Lord, I found myself “oversleeping”. There’s this beautiful thing called the internet though. I could tune into my home church via web, but guess who hasn’t. Yep, you guessed correctly. Me.

I feel like I’m at a weird point in my walk with God. I understand who is he is, how jealous he is and what he can do, but for some reason I don’t find myself walking through the church doors to go and worship him. Maybe because I’m scared I’ll love a church down here more than the one in North Carolina. Maybe because I don’t want to get too churchy.  Or maybe it’s because I’m just straight up lazy. To be real with you, I think its a combination of everything.

I don’t want to commit to another church. I don’t want to lose who I am. I don’t want to take out 2 hours of my Sunday to give formal thanks. Well ladies and gentleman, this Sunday I’ll be attending a new church in South Florida and I’m excited. I know God is going to bless me. I don’t care if he blesses me with a bomb parking spot at the church on a busy Sunday morning, it’s a blessing! I know he’s going to move and shift my views around. I most definitely know he’s going to show me what I’ve been missing out on though.

I figured I’d share my story with you all because, I mean I’m supposed to real with y’all right? Have you been torn between attending church and sleeping the day away? What do you all struggle with when it comes to walking in the House of the Lord? I’d love to hear from you!

To Give or Not To Give

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By: Shea Harris

After Thanksgiving, I made it my goal to hit the gym on Monday post the holiday. Thank goodness it wasn’t a rough day, so I was able to get into the groove and hit Planet Fitness. Before I arrived to the gym, I already knew what I wanted to accomplish: a little bit of weight lifting for legs, 10 mins of cardio and a pyramid workout for the lower body. I could barely reach the doors of the gym before I was stopped by a woman holding up a sign: Donate Blood Today for Free Movie Tickets.

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Now usually I don’t do this but uh…I decided to donate blood.

This may not seem like a big deal to you, but I have a serious fear with needles. Every time a nurse or registered phlebotomist decides to puncture me, I leave feeling like the world has ended. Funny enough I don’t have a fear of needles when it comes to getting tattoos, but when it comes to taking blood! Sheesh! I start freaking out. Let’s be honest. We’ve all had that one person take blood from us and act like it’s difficult for them to find a vein. I’m no pro at find veins, but mine is literally visible. After a few bad run ins with the needle, I made an effort to refrain from giving blood unless it was necessary for my annual physical.

Today I had a change of heart and decided to donate blood. After reading a peer’s post in The Huffington Post about donating bone marrow, I promised that I’d donate blood the next time I saw the huge red bus. I completely understand that donating bone marrow and blood are completely different but, one fear at a time. Prior to donating, my blood pressure, temperature and blood oxygen levels were tested. I must say the young lady who took my blood was very helpful, knowledgeable and I barely felt the needle. I was the first person who gave blood at the location and by this time next week, I’ll know my blood type.

Again, I know this probably seems a bit wacky but I’m glad I was able to get past my selfishness and do something for someone else. I take pride in this moment because who knows, I might be able to help someone out in the near future!

Dating in Miami

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By: Shea Harris

As I sip on this strawberries and cream frappucino with toffee nut in the local Starbucks, I’m blasting Single by Lil Wayne.  Some of the repetitive questions I’ve gotten over this past year are as follows: How’s the dating life? How’s the dating scene? Are you dating? I would say getting asked these questions gets annoying, but I’ve gotten used to it. So here’s my answer to those questions: Chaaa I don’t know. Okay that sounds kind of bad, but it’s the truth. I’ve met some pretty interesting men out here: men I’m attracted to and men not so much attracted to me. Usually when I see post about the single life, I see people bashing the opposite sex. Well I can honestly only be responsible for myself so in the next few paragraphs I’ll be listing a few thing that have come to me while being single.

I’m About That Action

I will say it time and time again: I’m 👏🏾 About 👏🏾 That 👏🏾 Action! It’s so many times that people say they want to see me (whether it be family or friends) and I’m down for it. If there aren’t any actions behind it, I’m not going to invest my time and energy into it. There is literally a list of things I could be doing besides taking time out to hang out with folks. If I really want to see you, I’m going to see you. This probably sounds super clichè, but I’m pretty sure there’s a reason for the phrase actions speak louder than words. I understand some people aren’t as vocal as others but to be real, the only thing I can go off of are actions. If I’m out here willing to make moves, the moves should be reciprocated (or so I think).

I’m Very Unique

I know we’re all special and unique in our own special way, but there are certain aspects about me that stick out like a sore thumb. My two puff balls and country accent don’t define me, but they stand out. My facial expressions and my personality are out of this world. When I walk into the room with my head held high and read your mind, trust me I know it’s extraordinary and catches you off guard. I make several announcements without uttering more than 2 sentences (when you first meet me 😉). I don’t think men are used to meeting a woman like me, trust me even my friends make the 😳 face sometimes. The only thing I can do as a human is be completely honest with you. There’s no need for me to lie or try and hypnotize you with cute little actions. I’m good off that lol.

I’m Not In A Rush

I’m pretty sure majority of the men out here think women are rushing to get into a relationship, marriage or something of that nature. I can honestly say I’m out here enjoying my life. I’ve learned over time that you cant force anyone into anything. Actually, you cant force anything period! Let’s be real: I’ll be 25 next month and I’ve changed so much within one year. I’m still figuring out my likes, dislikes, style, hair, all of the above. I’m currently at a stage in my life where I’m just taking everything as it comes and being the best person I can be. No need to rush into something and I’m still learning more about myself. If something happens, it happens; if it doesn’t, trust me I’ll be okay lol.

If you’re single, how is dating in your city? Is it as complex as people make it seem or is it pretty much nonexistent? Comment below and let me know!

SoBe Fire & Ice

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By: Shea Harris

It’s nothing like linking up with like minded people. Better yet, like minded young black women. Last Thursday, October 27th, myself and five members of Black Bloggers United went to SoBe Fire & Ice for a Miami meet up. The evening started out a little rocky due to the down pour of rain, but as soon as we stepped into the building it was a wrap. We were greeted with drink tickets, fur coats, gloves and boots for individuals who had open toe shoes. To be honest, the meet up time was perfect. We were there just in time for happy hour and we missed the crowd during our stay.

After we took a few boomerangs, pictures and videos, we finally went into the actual ice bar. Now keep in mind, I’ve only been in Miami for one year but my body has already adjusted to the weather down here.  As soon as the door opened to the ice bar, my body pretty much went into shock. I forgot how it feels to be in an environment with a temperature less than 60 degrees. The first five minutes in the ice box wasn’t too bad though. Bomb music was playing, we were enjoying the ice sculptures and the ice furniture, but after a while we all began to get a little cold.

I’ll be honest, I didn’t expect for the venue to be this unique and quaint. As the music played and the lighting changed, I felt like I was in my own little happy place. I couldn’t get over the fact that I had a stressful day at work and I was enjoying time with my fellow bloggers and a unique experience. The music was great, the atmosphere was beautiful and the drinks were amazing. It took me a while to get used to the freezing temperatures, but I definitely enjoyed myself. To add to the list of Miami experiences, this was my first time drinking out of a cup made of ice. I’m pretty sure my storage was about full that night from capturing so many memories, but it was well worth it!

I most certainly suggest visiting SoBe Fire & Ice the next time you’re in the area!

Miami is Overrated…STILL

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By: Shea Harris

So a few weeks ago I spoke about how Miami is overrated. I know I said I’d say something positive soon, but I thought of a few more things 😂! Instead of wasting time, let’s jump right into it.

  1. IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO SEE EVERYONE

It’s pretty difficult to see everyone in Miami. If you plan a trip down here and hit me up to hang out, good luck! I swear every time someone I know comes into town, its impossible to get to them. Everyone is in their own zone when they hit the streets of Miami. Plus, Miami is so spread out it makes meet ups even more stressful. For example: Miami isn’t really Miami. You have: North Miami Beach, North Miami, Hialeah, Opa Locka, Overtown, Miami Gardens, Miami Shores, the list goes one! And baby if you’re staying in South Beach, that’s a whole journey right there.

  1. THE HEAT 

I promise you it’s only about 2 weeks during the year where the temperature may drop to a smooth 60 degrees. Every time I leave my apartment, I have to bring a bottle of water with me. The heat down here is a bit unbearable at times. Everyone is always like Shea it’s not that hot!  Ummm sweety, I’m not really an outside person and if that’s true, I wouldn’t begin sweating as soon as I step outside of my apartment door! Walking from my apartment door to the car feels like I’m in the desert at times. I’ll definitely be looking into a portable fan with a spray bottle attached (call me extra, I don’t care).

  1. MIAMI DADE TRANSIT (MDT)

Miami Dade Transit (MDT) and I are finally divorcing this Friday. These folks show NO mercy! For some reason when you pay for a monthly pass, it doesn’t start until the first of the month and ends on the last day of the month. No you can’t buy it on the 15th of the month and have it expire on the 15th of the next month. For some reason MDT doesn’t want to hire software business analyst to make this possible. The trains don’t come every 15 minutes (tri-rail). If you miss your train, you have to wait 30 to 45 minutes for the next one. I can’t wait until Monday so I can start back driving around the city. Let’s just say in one day I ran after the train and got shut in the doors (literally) because I didn’t want to wait 45 minutes for the next one.

  1. ROAD RAGE

How ironic that I’m divorcing MDT, but headed back into the crappy storm. I don’t know who taught these people how to drive, but they need to hit the delete button and start over. The driving down here is almost comical and its pretty amazing at times. For example: if there is a line of cars in front of me, don’t honk the horn at me. More than likely, I’m not moving forward because there’s no place for me to go. Car manufacturers don’t add horns in vehicles so you can harass others on the road. They also don’t make direction indicators for decorations. There’s a reason why you’re supposed to use turning signals when you’re about to turn.

One of these days I’ll make a pro list. I promise I will haha! 😉

 

Miami is OVERRATED

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By: Shea Harris

Last year, around this time, I informed my family and friends that I’d be moving to Miami, FL. There were tears, laughter and excitement from several parties, but when it came to my emotions I was a bit lost. I knew it would be a dramatic change, but I didn’t really have any feelings about moving. Everyone around me was speaking about the palm trees, South Beach, the beautiful weather, but not me. I was thinking about work and making new friends. I didn’t have that great of an experience networking in Durham, NC so I had to redeem myself.

I moved to Miami with an open mind and didn’t really have much to go off of. I’d only been to Miami once to get on a cruise ship. I heard Miami was simply amazing and paradise, but those thoughts didn’t run through my head. It’s been almost a year since I’ve moved here and baby this place is overrated. It’s pretty much blazing hot year round, I rarely hit up the beach and the people are interesting to say the least. I kind of stay away from the touristy areas because, well I’m not here for the glitz and glamour.

I’m going to dish out 5 cons about living in Miami

(Don’t worry, a pros list will soon come)

  1. EVERYBODY KNOWS EVERYBODY.

So here I was moving to Miami thinking I was going to meet a crap ton of people and network my behind off. Let’s just say it didn’t necessarily work out like that. Each time I went out to make a connection, I met an individual who knew one of my peers. Everyone down here attended Florida International University, Florida Atlantic University, University of Miami or they’re in a sorority or fraternity. Sweetie let’s face it, Miami is small. It’s difficult to meet a new person because you all will be connected some way some how.

  1. PEOPLE DON’T REALLY SUPPORT YOU LIKE THEY SAY THEY WILL.

This sounds pretty harsh, but let’s just keep it real. Everyone is trying to have a come up and no one is really worried about you. I try to support people as much as I can but its coming to an end now. It’s so frustrating giving your time, energy and effort into others and their ventures but they don’t do the same for you. This place is all about being seen and not heard. As long as you post it on social media…it happened and you’re poppin’.

  1. EVERYBODY IS A CREATIVE.

When I first started creating, I was a bit nervous about beginning because EVERYONE is doing it down here. It’s difficult for people to notice you when so many around you do the same thing. Instead of being a blogger that talks about everything, I narrowed my topics down to self care, life in Miami and young professionals. To gain more exposure, I made sure I was specific with my audience in order to have genuine readers who were interested. Even though I’ve narrowed down my topics, I still don’t receive the support I expect. It’s a dog eat dog world out here in the 305.

  1. TRAFFIC IS TRASH.

9 times out of 10, there’s always traffic. You can invest in a sun pass, take back roads, take the main highway, you’re probably going to be in traffic. The only way to avoid it is by staying in the house. Okay I’m exaggerating a bit, but don’t get upset traveling these Miami roads. If you are easily annoyed and have road rage, Miami will bring out the worst in you. Prior to moving here, I was working on my patience and I must say, it’s gone out of the window. There’s always accidents and some type of hold up on the road holding you back from getting to your destination.

  1. RENT IS A JOKE.

On the first of every month I look at my bank account like:

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Paying over $1100 for a 1 bedroom, 1 bathroom in Miami is annoying. Just thinking about how much money I could still have if I didn’t need a place to lay my head, take a shower, store my items, etc. is frustrating. I knew I would be paying an arm and a leg for rent, but I didn’t know I would be giving up two arms and two legs! Renting an apartment down here is comical to say the least and nothing is included. Water, electricity, trash, washing machine, dryer, all of that is separate!

I’m sure this was hard to read for a few Miami natives, but there’s a reason why I named this blog Shea What’s Real 😉. What are some of the cons you deal with in your city? I’d love to hear them!

The One.

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By: Shea Harris

I always have a special place in my heart for creatives who continue to perfect their craft and believe in themselves. As a new creative, I have nothing but respect for these individuals. These people encourage me. These people inspire me. Frederick the Great is a part of these people. We first met at A.R.T. Live Soul Night back in March and it was great vibes immediately. Y’all know I don’t like gassing people but, this young man is absolutely talented. At A.R.T. Live, Frederick performed The One featuring Colin Ansby and I immediately fell in love with the song. The beat was smooth and the lyrics were truthful. Frederick and Colin have known each other since middle school, but recently have had a chance to get together to create this beautiful song.

The song wasn’t even supposed to be made.

The beat was introduced to Frederick by Colin and he immediately fell in love with it. Frederick expressed to me that the first verse was already written and the second verse was supposed to be a poem. During the first verse he expresses his frustrations of someone who told him his music wouldn’t be good enough. The second verse expresses his feelings for a young lady he loved and lost. He chose to make a video for the song because it was very personal and he wanted to show people a visual story.

Use your art as your tool.

The production of this video is so natural and beautiful, I almost forget I’m not watching a movie. Frederick met the the videographer, IAmKevvn, through Colin Ansby. Their initial meeting was on set of another video, Friends by Rey King Ft. Colin Ansby, Andy Rey & Ash Lake. Once ideas were exchanged about the vision for the music video, magic was made. The video was shot in South Beach in order to make it more lively. During the recording of the first verse, Frederick was unaware that IAmKevvn was recording. This was completed within one shot without rehearsing. The whole video took about 2-3 hours to wrap up. From beginning to end, everything and everyone was natural and on point. When it comes to art, he’s somewhat of a perfectionist, hates bad vibes and needs everything to be balanced.

We don’t create songs, we take our time with music and share stories.

I can’t tell you all how many times I’ve watched this video. I can’t express how much I’m in love with this song and the visuals. Thankfully there will be more music and videos to come from Frederick. He loves creating music and generating ideas for videos. His new project is now out though: She Always Seems Heartless Afterwards. This project touches on his past relationship: how he felt and how he didn’t feel like he ever got his point across to her. The piece of art has a hidden message to it and there will more art released following this project.