Category Archives: Up Next

How to Get Out of the Friend Zone

By: Shea Harris
Now keep in mind, this isn’t title”How to Get a Man/Woman”. This is simply how to get out of the friend zone.
Let’s talk about it. I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty familiar with this zone. It’s either because I’ve placed myself there or someone placed me there. Regardless of who placed who there, I know all about it. For the past six years (I hope it hasn’t been more than that) I’ve friend zoned myself….A LOT. I didn’t do it intentionally but trust me, I did it to myself. A lot of times I went into situations AUTOMATICALLY thinking that the guy wasn’t interested in me. It all goes back to my Southern Belle post. I meet people and automatically think, oh they see a nice person and want a genuine friendship. I spoke to my home girl and this is what she had to say:
“I definitely think I put myself into the friend zone! For me I think it comes down to a confidence thing. I automatically head towards that zone a lot of the time.”
Step 1) You’ve got to have confidence.
Once you start to see how pawpin’ and bad ass you are, people will begin to flock to you. Become the best version of yourself that you can be. I usually know I’m in the friend zone just by a guys actions. Although I’m a horrible flirt, I know when people are flirting with me and when they’re not. I’m the first to say “oh that’s just the homie” because I’m used to being just that. Maybe just maybe if I would change the way I thought about these things, I’d have different results. Remember, once you claim something (mentally or verbally) that’s exactly what you’re going to get. This is what my friend had to say:
“I know I’m in the friend zone because it feels like a strict friendship. It feels like nothing else will come out of it, if that makes sense.”
Step 2) You’ve got to be optimistic.
Walking into any situation with a negative attitude or expecting something different than what you really want is only a set up. You’re simply setting yourself up for failure. Show more of who you are and stop being afraid to express yourself (I low-key just cursed myself out with that statement). I’m usually in the friend zone because I psyche myself out. I know I’m a bomb ass friend and I’m great at being there for people. I’ve gotten too comfortable and content with being the homie and struggled to weed my way out of that. I think my friend hit the nail on the head with this one:

“I’m in the friend zone because I don’t put in effort to let them know I’m interested. Again, it’s a confidence thing and I make it seem like I’m okay with just being friends when I would like more. I settle for friendship.”

Step 3) You’ve got to know your worth and stop settling.
Do you think you’re only good enough to be his/her friend? You is smart. You is kind. You is important. You is fine. Haha, okay enough of that. I say all that to say, the only person holding you back from exiting the friend zone is you. It’s a mental thing. Know who you are and constantly remind yourself why you deserve to be out of the friend zone. The more you doubt yourself, the longer you’ll stay there. Stop telling yourself that you’re just a friend. The more you say that, the more evident it’ll appear to others and that’s the last thing you want. Some time ago I spoke about being in the Friend Zone and how it pretty much sucks. Once you realize what you’re doing wrong on your part, things will begin to make sense. You’ll slowly creep out of that little hole and people will see what you see in yourself.
Again, this was not a post about getting a man or woman. It’s more so to remind you all how bomb you are and that you shouldn’t sell yourself short. You are absolutely amazing and you have no business being in the friend zone. I love you boo! 😘
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The One.

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By: Shea Harris

I always have a special place in my heart for creatives who continue to perfect their craft and believe in themselves. As a new creative, I have nothing but respect for these individuals. These people encourage me. These people inspire me. Frederick the Great is a part of these people. We first met at A.R.T. Live Soul Night back in March and it was great vibes immediately. Y’all know I don’t like gassing people but, this young man is absolutely talented. At A.R.T. Live, Frederick performed The One featuring Colin Ansby and I immediately fell in love with the song. The beat was smooth and the lyrics were truthful. Frederick and Colin have known each other since middle school, but recently have had a chance to get together to create this beautiful song.

The song wasn’t even supposed to be made.

The beat was introduced to Frederick by Colin and he immediately fell in love with it. Frederick expressed to me that the first verse was already written and the second verse was supposed to be a poem. During the first verse he expresses his frustrations of someone who told him his music wouldn’t be good enough. The second verse expresses his feelings for a young lady he loved and lost. He chose to make a video for the song because it was very personal and he wanted to show people a visual story.

Use your art as your tool.

The production of this video is so natural and beautiful, I almost forget I’m not watching a movie. Frederick met the the videographer, IAmKevvn, through Colin Ansby. Their initial meeting was on set of another video, Friends by Rey King Ft. Colin Ansby, Andy Rey & Ash Lake. Once ideas were exchanged about the vision for the music video, magic was made. The video was shot in South Beach in order to make it more lively. During the recording of the first verse, Frederick was unaware that IAmKevvn was recording. This was completed within one shot without rehearsing. The whole video took about 2-3 hours to wrap up. From beginning to end, everything and everyone was natural and on point. When it comes to art, he’s somewhat of a perfectionist, hates bad vibes and needs everything to be balanced.

We don’t create songs, we take our time with music and share stories.

I can’t tell you all how many times I’ve watched this video. I can’t express how much I’m in love with this song and the visuals. Thankfully there will be more music and videos to come from Frederick. He loves creating music and generating ideas for videos. His new project is now out though: She Always Seems Heartless Afterwards. This project touches on his past relationship: how he felt and how he didn’t feel like he ever got his point across to her. The piece of art has a hidden message to it and there will more art released following this project.

 

March 2016

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I have been able to meet and come across various types of creatives since I started blogging. In a city full of talented people, its hard to come across unique individuals. The creatives who grasp my attention are those who set themselves apart. I was introduced to Run Clothing about a month ago and clicking on the website caught my eyes. It’s not often you head over to a site and hear music to put you in a serene mood. Run Clothing is for men and women looking for high quality hoodies, t-shirts and hats. The catchy phrases and vibrant colors express the exact sentiments of millennials today.

“What inspired me to start my own line was to create my own idea of what I believe fashion should be, my desire to create products that will speak for the non-speakers , give a voice to the voiceless. The name RIGHT UNDER NOTHING has attitude within itself , stands for above all and that’s the mindset I hope to give my  consumers.”
Owner of Run Clothing
Be sure to check out Run Clothing for apparel!

 

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Raleigh/Durham is the home of many underground artists in North Carolina. During my short time living in the area I was able to attend underground events featuring poets, rappers, singers and producers. It’s not difficult to come across talent in RDU and its impossible to forget those talents, such as theDeeepEnd. I’ve been listening to this artist since he was spitting poetry via FaceBook and slowly making his way to a microphone.

I’m not the most knowledgeable when it comes to music, but I can spot talent from a mile away. He has the charisma, voice and message that many music heads look forward to once the auxiliary cord is plugged in. I’ll stop right here before I get ahead of myself and let his music speak for itself.

Check out his new song Prosperity and the rest of his catalogue on SoundCloud!