By: Shea Harris
The last time I went to church was…heavens I don’t even know when. I think it was sometime in August of 2016. For someone who believes in God and puts all my trust in him, you’d think I’d be doing a better job at attending the Lord’s house. Well surprise! I’m not. In September of 2015, one of my main focuses was finding a home church. Since then, my focus has shifted. I’ve spent more time acknowledging the blessings God has bestowed upon me. I’ve spent more time sharing my testimony of how good God is. I’ve spent more time sleeping in on Sundays.
I find myself wondering why am I able to hit up brunch on Sundays but not church on Sundays? To be completely transparent, I don’t want to. I rather invest my time and energy into building a spiritual connection with God instead of finding a church to help me on this journey. I’ve become completely lazy with finding a church in Miami because of my bad experiences. I rather let those experiences haunt me and poison my thoughts on church than find another place to attend to change my mentality.
I had become so comfortable with my church in North Carolina that I didn’t want any other one to compete with it. I was okay with just visiting my home church (every blue moon) whenever I was in town. I shrugged off the guilt I was feeling whenever someone asked me if I found a church home. I stopped looking and stopped attending. Every time I said I was going to the House of the Lord, I found myself “oversleeping”. There’s this beautiful thing called the internet though. I could tune into my home church via web, but guess who hasn’t. Yep, you guessed correctly. Me.
I feel like I’m at a weird point in my walk with God. I understand who is he is, how jealous he is and what he can do, but for some reason I don’t find myself walking through the church doors to go and worship him. Maybe because I’m scared I’ll love a church down here more than the one in North Carolina. Maybe because I don’t want to get too churchy. Or maybe it’s because I’m just straight up lazy. To be real with you, I think its a combination of everything.
I don’t want to commit to another church. I don’t want to lose who I am. I don’t want to take out 2 hours of my Sunday to give formal thanks. Well ladies and gentleman, this Sunday I’ll be attending a new church in South Florida and I’m excited. I know God is going to bless me. I don’t care if he blesses me with a bomb parking spot at the church on a busy Sunday morning, it’s a blessing! I know he’s going to move and shift my views around. I most definitely know he’s going to show me what I’ve been missing out on though.
I figured I’d share my story with you all because, I mean I’m supposed to real with y’all right? Have you been torn between attending church and sleeping the day away? What do you all struggle with when it comes to walking in the House of the Lord? I’d love to hear from you!