How to Be Single and Not Bitter

October 24 • 7_00 PM Koch Bar, New York.jpg

By: Shea Harris

Usually around this time of year I see all types of emotions come across my timeline. It’s a mix between love, appreciation, bitterness and sometimes even anger. It’s uncomfortable scrolling through because I’m a positive person and seeing many mixed feelings projected is uneasy. I don’t know whether to laugh, be sad or let’s be honest roll my eyes. I don’t know your situation but hopefully this will bring some light to your Valentine’s Day and to your life.

1. Say Bye Bye to Bitter Betty/Barry

She/He is no longer needed in your life. It’s okay to be single and take comfort in your own space. All of the things you’ve gone through (or going through) is a set up for something simply amazing. It may be financially, emotionally, physically or spiritually. It doesn’t always have to be an individual. Maybe you thought you were going to marry that man or woman once upon a time but it just didn’t work out. It’s okay love! You didn’t need to keep that person with you on this journey. Keep your head up and realize that you’re worth more than gold.

2. Self Love is the Most Important Type of Love

I don’t even need to say any more. If you want a bit more emphasis, check out this post

3. Search and Find Who You Really Are

We claim to know exactly who we are, but we are always changing (especially in our 20’s). I used to think I knew exactly what I wanted, but now I’m honestly just experiencing every little thing that comes my way. It may take for me to almost drown in the Grand Cayman Islands to figure out I’m not the strongest swimmer (true story by the way). I may have to try plantains a few different ways to come to the conclusion that they’re not for me at all. I say all this to reaffirm that I’ve tried different things to find out who I am and what I like. It’s absolutely fine to try things and rediscover who you are. I mean if not, then why exactly are we here?

4. Sit Back and Chill

While discovering who we are, sometimes we read too much into things. Every person you come across doesn’t deserve you and every text doesn’t need a response. Yeah it’s often times exciting to welcome potentials in your life but keep in mind that’s what they are, potentials. Take your time on getting to know folks and seeing who they are, if they flow with you and if they truly are who they say they are. It’s never that deep to jump to what if’s and you just figured out each others name. Keep it cute and light until things begin to shift.

5. It’s Just Another “Holiday”

Of course I leave the best for last: baby it’s just another day. Don’t spend all your time caught up in the Instagram, Facebook and Twitter posts. Think of it like it’s your birthday. For 24 hours you’re receiving calls, texts and social media notifications for this one day and then the day after…silence. That’s pretty much how Valentine’s Day works. You see all these things on social media and mushy advertisements until the day of and then it’s on to 50% off Valentine’s Day candy and Easter prep. I choose not to be upset and worked up about one day out of the year simply for two reasons: I’m healed from the Bitter Betty bug and I’m blessed to have family and friends who show me unconditional love all the time. 

I truly hope this post was helpful and inspiring to at least one person.

Happy Valentine’s Day lovely and keep your heart Three Stacks. 😉


*Image from College Friend*


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