Emotions Taking Me Over

By: Shea Harris

Have you ever been tired of being a good person? Tired of being the bigger person? I can honestly say I’ve felt that way multiple times.

I’ve felt like I’ve been ready to explode. I was ready to become Petty Mayonnaise and let multiple people have it. I had received news about shocking events and I was emotionally drained. I wanted people to feel what I had been bottling up. I wanted people to understand how hurt I was. I wanted people to know that their actions impacted others. I essentially wanted to go numb or have someone else feel what I was feeling.

My biggest pet peeve is seeing people taken advantage of. How do folks walk all over people and act like nothing happened? How is it possible to “care” for others and treat them like John Doe? I learned the tough way that some people only care about themselves. Some people do what’s necessary to be well off and survive in this world. Unfortunately, this is the world we live in. Bad things happen to good people.

I always thought my good deeds would pay off. I knew as a Godly woman I would reap multiple benefits, not only financially but also spiritually and mentally. When my emotions began to weigh heavy on my heart, I began speaking them. I wasn’t surprised when I started expressing myself vocally, I was more so relieved I could speak to someone about the way I felt. I tried to handle everything on my own and quickly realized it wasn’t the best scenario for me.

Once I realized my positive vibes became negative, I immediately asked God to clean my heart. I immediately asked God to get me out of the negative space. I immediately asked God to take this pain away. That night I was able to go to bed with a clear mind and a bit of a numb heart. The following morning, I read my scripture for the day from my bible app.

Galatians 6:9

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

When I tell you that He’s an on time GOD! I kid you not my heart was so full that morning. I was able to start off on a good foot and have a clear mind. I wont lie and say after the emotional battle I felt like I conquered it, but I can tell you God is fighting this battle. I have completely given it to Him and I trust he will continue to move my life in ways I can not imagine.